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Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are

Click To Watch	The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:48 Rating: 4.6735725 Views: 1340558   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN

Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works

Click To Watch	Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:54 Rating: 4.16551 Views: 37749   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  Kelly

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Click To Watch	Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:02 Rating: 4.9665136 Views: 1697340   Tags: News Room  comedy  funny  onion  satire  cnn  breaking  news  bullshit  The Onion  Onion News Network  ONN

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

Click To Watch	The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 03:10 Rating: 4.909471 Views: 607259   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  teen  teenager

Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall

Click To Watch	Multi-millionaire pop sensation, K'ronikka, appears on Today Now! completely unaware that she is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society. Subscribe to The Onion on...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:36 Rating: 4.9188075 Views: 545604   Tags: Onion  comedy  Booty Wave  K'ronikka  The Onion  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN

'9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda

Click To Watch	An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the US government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at:...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:47 Rating: 4.6445384 Views: 2661437   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN

'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film

Click To Watch	Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision. More coverage at: onion.com...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:43 Rating: 4.8152413 Views: 632690   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN

Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself

Click To Watch	Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours. Subscribe to The Onion on...   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 02:37 Rating: 4.9173126 Views: 125468   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  Today Now  Guinness World Records

Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Click To Watch	Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 01:39 Rating: 4.9013324 Views: 1100983   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN

Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

Click To Watch	Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.   Uploaded: November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am Author: TheOnion   Length: 03:02 Rating: 4.935148 Views: 1558724   Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN